This was my first book as well as first memoir of the year 2023. I completed it in a single day (New Years), and when it ended I felt like I was no further forward.
I wouldn't really say I was a fan of Matthew Perry. Don't get me wrong, on the odd occasion that I've tuned into an episode of Friends (I am yet to properly watch it but will get round to it maybe) Chandler has always been my favourite of the characters as he has been the one to make me laugh, but I don't go out of my way to care about his endeavours unlike some other celebs. However, when my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas, for some reason I asked for this book and I don't regret that.
My aim this year is to read one memoir a month, no reason, just because, and as my newest edition this was the one I chose. Matthew Perry has led an interesting life, I wouldn't call it tragic as it was a series of choices egged on by the disease, addiction, but sad all the same. Matthew takes us on a trip down memory lane through every single one of his failed relationships and the reasons behind them, as well as every time he has ended up in rehab then consequently relapsed, and the story behind each relapse. The thing that bugs me about this book is it doesn't end with 'and I've been sober for 10 years and am finally happy'. We expect it to because we have been spoiled with fiction and happy endings in most of our books, but this is a man's life and he is still living. Perry tells us of his struggles as recently as 2021 and that while he is working towards getting better he is still afraid, there's prospect of a fairytale ending but only time will tell.
I commend Perry for talking so openly about his struggles and actively rallying against them. He's gone up against people like Piers Morgan to end the stigma surrounding addiction and making it clear that it's not just a bad choice or a want, it's a need, a desire that wont go away. Addiction is a mental health issue, a disease you can die from. Perry does an excellent job of making this known, despite not being able to fully overcome it.
I appreciate his candidness, his vulnerabilities. Much like Tom Felton, Perry can track what led to his drinking and his struggles and when he decided enough was enough and I appreciated the strength both these men have, as well as the fact they know fame is actually the push that got the ball rolling.
I do not have an addictive personality, so I have no idea of the struggles, I can literally only imagine what Perry and others have gone through and I rely on them to paint my picture of this experience. I don't know what to say and can't even begin to understand any of it as it's nothing to do with me. I can merely be an ally and offer support.
I do appreciate on a different level Perry's biggest insecurity however. The need to cut people off before they realise they don't love him. He expresses that he deeply needs to feel loved and yet does everything he can to push it from him so that it won't hurt when the lover realises he was undeserving. I understand that. Julia Roberts on the other hand, I can also see how that insecurity went into overdrive then, but if he had mind to I reckon he could have manipulated that feeling into one of not letting her go. She was clearly a keeper as well as smokin hot, but alas everyone needs a 'one that got away'. It's none of my business. It's easier said than done.
If you are expecting to read this book and hear about Friends and the behind the scenes gossip then you will be disappointed. While Friends took up a good chunk of Perry's life, and he does talk about it but mainly how he felt and the drugs he was on during filming, it is not a main focus point. This is not a Friends BTS, this is a look back at an actors life which he is sharing with us, he doesn't have to. Remember he has a lot to lose being this honest, yet he has shared his experiences with us anyway.
I'm going to keep this post short and sweet as you know I hate 'reviewing' people's lives. I give Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir a 6//10. It was a good and fast read, I learnt a lot about Mr. Perry despite not really needing to know, and I feel like there is opportunity for this book to help others who feel like him find a silver lining. I don't know why Keanu Reeves was cursed several times for being the wonderful immortal he is, but I think it was more a nod to the greats from that era, several of the greatest young actors died especially from overdoses but Keanu escaped that assumably from not doing drugs. I think a bit of envy was at play there.
Whaddya think? I'm only a DM away if anyone wishes to talk through their own problems or needs a shoulder to cry on. Leave me a comment or a message if you want to chat!
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