77.The Little Mermaid

 

Note to self: always check the run time of a movie before going- especially when taking small children.

In all honesty, it was me who was getting fidgety. I'll admit straight off the bat I was bored. I've always wanted to like The Little Mermaid, I love Mermaids and Sirens and shipwrecks. But something about Ariel always came off a little whiny to me and I couldnt stand it. Why on earth would you give up such a magical life to effectively become a nobody? Like I know she became a human princess in the end, that was more luck than judgement, but she was a princess of the sea! She had magic! I guess the moral of the story is be careful what you wish for, the grass aint always greener on the other side, appreciate what you've got, blah, blah, blah. But I just don't get it. I didn't like Beauty and the Beast either when I was young so it was obviously a phase I had where I disliked the 90s Disney era.

Anyway, I decided that this would be the perfect film to take a young-un. So I acquired one and with my boyfriend we went off to watch what turned out to be over 2 hours of muted re-hashing.

Halle Bailey was a really good Ariel. Absolutely no complaints from me there. My only criticism was that her hair needed to be redder, it was kind of a muted brown which is wrong for our beloved Mermaid. Otherwise her voice was brilliant, her acting fitting for the role, and the other aspects of her costume were beautiful. She was great, and the little cameo from the original Ariel did not go unnoticed and I liked it a lot.

Jonah Hauer-King as Prince Eric was also a really good fit. He was awkward in a good way, had a good singing voice which fit with the atmosphere, he had the looks to fit with the animation version, and I could believe that he was in love with Ariel. His voice kinda reminded me of Bastille however, which was cool.

I also adored Javier Bardem as King Triton. There is just something about him and the sea which makes a movie magical. Yes I'm referring to his brief stint as a Pirate or whatever in one of the PoC movies, but you have to admit he conveys the right amount of power and authority to really carry off a royal role. He does heartbroken dad pretty well too. 

The chemistry between our two mains was excellent. A true cringey teenage romance. I believed in them after watching them creep around the castle soaking wet and bare foot. I did kinda wanna see more interference from Vanessa though. We seemed to focus a lot on a bunch of CGI scenes which were not useful to the plot in any way rather than something which was detrimental to moving the story a long. So the ending was rushed and the happily ever after lost its magic.

I love Awkwafina but her rap with Sebastian was purely to show off some CGI and kill some time, it wasn't needed and we could have focused more on maybe the end battle or Eric figuring out something was wrong with his new lover and him trying to go back to Ariel.

I also liked how diverse this movie is. We have a tropical island which has not been whitewashed, we have persons of colour in big roles, we have gender bending characters, we have themes of adoption! This was a decent step and pretty brave as obviously Disney are once again messing with a classic here, but I applaud the step in the right direction, I just feel like steps should be taken to get the characters defining characteristics right. Don't care about skin colour, cast who you like. Just make sure if they are meant to have red hair that they have RED hair. I'm looking at you as well Peter Pan. Don't mess with my gingers.

The biggest thing for me here, and for me personally the only redeeming feature of this movie (other than the great acting from the stars) was Melissa McCarthy as Ursula. 10/10 for casting there guys. I didn't know she could sing but she's since whipped out her talents again for a Booking.com advert and she's pretty good. I liked her rendition of 'Poor Unfortunate Souls', it was punchy, it was morbid and evil. It was also tantalisingly twisted and the use of colour to accentuate the scenery was perfect. The bambino we had brought along was a little scared during this scene, understandably she's only 5, but not to the point of tears or looking away which was good. If I had let her watch The Black Cauldron it might have been different. McCarthy is sensual, twisted, and just the right amount of creepy for the job. I know a lot of people wanted a drag queen as per the original concept art inspiration, but McCarthy's husky voice and character was more than enough for the part in my book.

I have to say, this movie isn't very adult or child friendly. Although, if I had to pick one I'd say it swayed more towards the adults. I found it boring. I'm sorry but I did. There isn't much in it for the kids other than the idea of Mermaids, otherwise we focus on love and that is pretty much it. Somehow Disney has turned one of the most loved animated movies into a live action rom-com which appeals to no one. Yeah the music is good, but we have kinda heard it before, and the acting and sets were beautiful. But it didn't save the plot. I wouldn't say the writing was bad, but once again we had many scenes which just didn't need to be there. My other half simply described the movie as 'Long' and that pretty much sums it up. Thanks for the input babe. 

I will probably have some arguments over this, I'm having flashbacks to the second Wreck it Ralph movie and the review I posted on Tumblr forever ago. But I just didn't like this film. I reckon the only reason it has broken the box office expectations is because it's Disney and Disney always does. Sadly, it is just another live action flop in my book. Kinda like a Marmite movie I suppose. A lot of people are loving it, and a lot are hating. I'm indifferent. 

Would I watch it again? Only if I had to, which I will for the Disney Challenge when it comes to it. No doubt the relevance in the parks will soon be high, but I get the gist and I wouldn't watch it again by choice. It was alright but probably as background noise only.

I'd give it a 5/10. It was almost a 4, but that seems a little mean considering how much effort went into it and how good the casting was. Sadly the execution was just meh. The kiddo liked it so that's good. Hat's off to her for sitting still for so long, I couldn't. This film felt more like being submerged in a sensory room with the colours and sounds, but 2 hours and however many minutes was too much. Should have been 90 minutes and with better adjustments to the plot. You can get away with a bunch of nothing with animation, look at Fantasia, but you can't with live action it just gets boring.

I may regret this, but thoughts? Comment on my socials, you know where to find me!